I am a chocolate lover. I have always been a chocolate lover and I always will be!
However, towards the end of last year I started to realise that my love of chocolate was becoming a bit of a problem for me. Chocolate became my go to for pretty much every emotion that I faced. The last few months of 2018 were quite tough for me and I pretty much self medicated with chocolate. If I was feeling low, I ate chocolate. If I was bored, I ate chocolate. If I was stressed, I ate chocolate.
At the beginning of 2019 after a month of over-indulging in chocolate around Christmas (I mean we got through so many boxes of celebrations) I decided I wanted to have a break. Now, I’m not one for restricting when it comes to food – I don’t think it works AT ALL and I think it can lead to some very negative results. However, I really feel that chocolate was becoming a bit of an addiction for me. I was thinking that if it was alcohol I was using instead of chocolate, I would have definitely seen it as a problem. I needed to prove to myself that I could get through life without chocolate!
I don’t particularly think comfort eating or emotional eating is a bad thing. If food helps you survive your emotions that is a good thing. However, I do think it is important to have other tools in dealing with you emotions than just food – or in my case chocolate.
For me, as a Christian, I want to be going to God for all my emotional needs and not chocolate. I was realising that I was getting a quick fix of chocolate rather than praying and talking to God about things.
Anyway, I feel that the past three weeks have been brilliant. The first week I really missed chocolate, I wanted to give up but the very fact that I felt like I couldn’t do it made me realise just how important it was that I did. I feel so much more clear headed now, brighter and overall happier. Because I’ve learnt not to rely only on chocolate to control my emotions.
Moving forward, I’m not sure what I’m going to do! I want to have chocolate in my life but I don’t want it to control me again. So, I think that I will allow myself to have chocolate again in February, always knowing that if I feel like its getting out of control again that I’m able to fast from it again!