Hey everyone. You may have seen my other posts about my fitness journey which finally began back in January after I had my twins back in August 2016.
In my last post I spoke about how much I hated my body and seemed to be gaining an uncontrollable amount of weight and I didn’t really know why. I mentioned my implant and it’s effects so I thought I’d share how I’ve been feeling since then. My background with hormonal contraception is that I became sexually active when I got married July 2015 and prior to that I had been on the pill for about 6 months when I was 17 to control painful periods. I started on the patch (combined hormone) and moved on to the combined pill. I was unhappy on this pill and had bad mood swings so I decided to come off. I was planning on reassessing when one whoopsy led to me getting pregnant!
When the girls turned 6 weeks old I went on to the mini pill but as I was breastfeeding it was really only an insurance. When I stopped breastfeeding back in October 2017 I decided to get the implant after forgetting to take the pill one too many times! I thought it would be the same but I think the change in hormones stopping breastfeeding changed everything. From January I started noticing that I was gaining loads of weight so I started exercising and changed my eating habits. I also started bleeding continuously for weeks and was suffering with terrible headaches and nausea. I was so down and would cry often and couldn’t keep myself happy. I started hating my body and the way I looked.
Eventually I had the implant taken out and everything got so much better. My periods are back to normal, I have stopped gaining weight and the nausea and headaches have gone. My mood has also been a lot brighter. After this I have decided that hormonal contraception isn’t for me. We are now using condoms and whilst they can be a bit awkward at times it is so much better for us.
I just wanted to add a note about the ethical side of my decision to come off hormones. Basically after doing research I found that ALL types of hormonal contraception have the potential to end life. They work in 3 ways:
1. Stopping you ovulating
2. Making it difficult for sperm to reach any eggs that have slipped out
3. Stopping a fertilised egg implanting.
Number 3 was my issue. I believe life begins at conception and I don’t want to do anything to hurt life. It is a bit of a grey area as to whether this is ok in my mind – I know other people will think differently to me as it’s technically not you doing it. But as I’m not sure I just decided it’s best to avoid it rather than do something that has potential to be against my views. No judgement if you don’t believe what I do but I just thought I’d mention it.
Back to my fitness journey! Although I’ve stopped gaining weight I still wasn’t losing any and I was getting so down. I try so hard to be body positive but something had to give and I decided to make a change. As well as my Davina workouts I have started to run around 3 times a week. Due to the hills around where I live I haven’t managed to run more than 2.5 miles yet but cos of the hills it burns over 500 calories!
I have also begun tracking my calorie intake on my phone and have set a daily target. I’m not being obsessive with it but I just needed to gain back some control. Since tracking my calorie intake I have realised that I actually eat a lot more than I thought! It’s stopped me from eating bits of the girls’ food and picking at bits. Over the weekend I let myself eat whatever whilst still being mindful and during the week I’m back tracking my food. I’m hoping it will turn in to more of a lifestyle change and that I won’t be out of control eating!
Running is making me feel so much better too. I’ve always loved running but it’s so difficult around my area as there are no street lights. I also live down single track roads so it’s so hard and dangerous running… anyway. Now the evenings are lighter I’ve started getting our more and enjoying it. I’m getting faster, stronger and fitter and it feels great.
I struggle because I fully support body positivity and I want to celebrate my body for how it is. But I’m just not feeling good and I need to bring myself up!
Anyway I’ve rambled on long enough
Thanks for reading!