Trigger warning for body hate!
So a little while a go I wrote about my fitness journey. It has actually been going relatively well so far. I have a Davina McCall DVD called “Fit in 15” and one called “Toned in 10” which I do every week day, if I do Toned in 10 I normally do 2 x workouts so I normally work out for 15-20 minutes for 4-5 days a week. I have also been doing Park Run on Saturday mornings which is a 5K run. I really enjoy it especially as it’s something for me and some time away from being “mummy”. I can’t get to it every single week as we’ve been busy on the weekends quite a lot but I’m doing it as often as I can. I have definitely felt fitter and better from exercising and it really has had a positive effect on my life. It’s something I do for me and only me and that’s part of what is so great about it.
Anyway, despite working out more I am still gaining weight. I’ve also been trying to eat more healthily but not cut out treats entirely.
I’m not bothered about LOSING weight particularly, I want to feel happy in the skin I’m in. However, the fact I’m constantly GAINING weight makes me think something isn’t right. For the past 5 or so years I’ve always hovered between 9-9.5 stone (apart from when I was pregnant!!!) I’ve never been a really slim person but I was happy in the weight I was and how my body look in that half a stone bracket. Whilst breastfeeding I actually got down to around 8st 10lbs which is my lowest ever weight! Over the last 6 months, since stopping breastfeeding I have gradually gone up to around 10st 5lbs and it’s worrying me.
I’m not ashamed of my post partum body, far from it. I don’t care about my saggy skin or the stretch marks is genuinely just the fact that I’m gaining that is worrying me and getting me down. My clothes are starting to feel tight and I don’t have anything that really makes me feel or look good at the moment and unfortunately I don’t have the money to buy more clothes. I feel so down about myself, each morning I’m nearly in tears whilst I get ready.
I don’t think it helps that my hormones are all over the place. I currently have the contraceptive implant and whilst it was ok for a while…For the past 3 weeks I have had a non stop period, nausea, headaches, mood swings, low moods, you name it! I’m actually getting my implant out next week due to this. I will be interested to see if my weight changes when I get it taken out as from reading up on implant side effects recently, one side effect is that it really slows down your metabolism and causes weight gain.
Hopefully this stops the gaining… I can make peace with my body if it stays one size I think.. It’s just the constant changing that’s getting to me.
Hopefully I can get some new clothes to make me feel good at some point too!
How are my other January-starting fitness journey people getting on?