Feeling… exhausted 

One of my babies spent this weekend in hospital.

On Friday, Dorothy was having difficulty breathing and I decided to call 111. They sent an ambulance out for her so off we went.

We almost got sent home after a few hours but Dotty’s oxygen levels were low and she was wheezy so we stayed. She had to stay for two nights which was hard. She was being given oxygen through tubes and nebulisers to open her airways. It was especially challenging because we had Margot to think about too and being breastfed meant I couldn’t be separated from either of them for too long!

Thankfully Dotty is home now and doing much better but it didn’t stop it from being a hard weekend. It was also pretty uncomfortable – they really need sofas in hospital rooms!

I’m so grateful for the care we had. Everyone was so kind and accommodating. It’s hard to see how overworked and understaffed they all are… waiting can get so frustrating but you have to be kind because it’s not their fault.

It’s so heartbreaking to see your baby hooked up to machines and not herself. I was desperate for her to get better and have her home. I’m so grateful to have everyone back under the same roof. I feel so privileged to be able to give her the comfort and care she needs. So blessed to be her mummy.

Unfortunately we had to cancel our travel plans this week. We were supposed to be off to Berlin tomorrow but we were told she wasn’t likely to be up to it. I’m writing this with tears in my eyes which seems so silly. I was so looking forward to this trip. Josh and I are desperate to travel more with the girls but with work, finances and our move this summer it’s so hard to find the right time. I know it probably sounds so selfish but it feels like we kind of have a point to prove with travelling. We are desperate not to let having twins stop us but this time it has, unfortunately.

I guess this trip wasn’t meant to be and I’m sure there’ll be many more in the future. But right now let me just wallow in self pity a tiny bit longer. I will cherish every moment of this week with Josh home nevertheless and we will definitely try to make the most of it!

Sorry for the rambly post.


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