Yesterday I turned 28 weeks pregnant, which means I am now in my third and final trimester! Since I am having twins, my labour will be induced if it hasn’t happened naturally by 37-38 weeks. That means that I have only got around 9 weeks left, if that until the babies come! Although I’m excited to meet and I am absolutely sick to death of being pregnant, I hope they will stay cooking for as long as possible… to give them the best chance at starting life healthily and not having to go in to the neonatal unit if possible. We are starting to get two of everything and feeling very excited about it!
Since people started finding out I was pregnant at around 17 weeks… Josh and I have noticed that we have been met with quite a lot of negativity. People like making jokes about the fact we’re not going to get any sleep or that we’re going to have our hands full, I know it’s true and people are being light hearted, but I think people forget how much their words have affects on people! People have even said to us “oh your life is over now!” or “kids ruin your life” which is obviously a joke, but its still not what you want to hear! One thing I have definitely noticed is that when we tell people we’re having two girls, they love to say “oh good luck with that!” or “girls are much harder work than boys” or “you’re really in for it”. I know I have probably made similar comments to people in the past without realising, but when you’re in the situation yourself you really start to pick up on it and how much negativity you actually get thrown at you. Just once, I’d love someone to tell me how lucky we are and how lovely it is to have two girls coming soon! As the Bible says “the power of life and death is in the tongue” Proverbs 18:21… our words have the power to build people up or tear them down and we should be really careful what we say, cos we don’t know what’s going on inside that person’s mind or how they feel about their situation.
You might have read in a previous post that this pregnancy wasn’t planned and came as a huge shock. It changed my life goals and plans really significantly and led to me being quite depressed in the first few months. Although that’s changed now, it is of course natural for me to still feel wobbly from time to time. Last week I was feeling pretty crappy about stuff, things have been a bit boring for me since I finished uni as I’ve obviously not had enough time before the babies come to get a job which I was so excited about doing when I finished uni! Josh obviously works and I have been quite good at filling my time up and keeping myself incredibly busy.. but it can get pretty lonely being on my own most of the time! Josh and I had planned to move at the end of this year which I was really excited about, but last week we found out that our plans weren’t going to quite work out as we’d hoped and we were kind of left in limbo and without a plan! I know plans working out is not really our strong suit but it always feels better to have a general idea of a back up plan if things go wrong. I started to feel a bit down about stuff and anxious about the babies’ arrival…. and I found myself saying “why God?!” I was questioning why all this stuff was happening to me and what the purpose was in all of this. Then in my daily Bible time I read in Luke about taking up your cross and following Jesus – which basically means taking the lot in life God has given you, whether good or bad, and surrendering it to His will. The study notes in this passage said sometimes we ask God what He is doing for US rather than what we can be doing for HIM. It challeneged me and made me see this not as what is God going to do in my situation, but how I can use my situation to glorify Him and work for Him. I haven’t come up with all the answers yet but I am looking forward to seeing where this next chapter of my life takes me.
It’s always an adventure.